The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Sunday, March 9, 2008, and sent via FutureMe.org

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Dear FutureMe,

Just in case you’ve forgotten, these things are important:

- live life to the full

- take risks

- try new things

If there are things in your life that seem pointlessly difficult, but that you can’t do anything to change, then create a new stress in your life; one that you CAN control. Learn something new, push yourself to your physical limits, expand your social circle, organise a social event. Your little brain can only hold a certain number of stresses at any one time, so if you squash in some new exciting stresses, then the old boring ones will be edged out.

Better to be stuck between a rock and an icy place on a scary mountain than to be stuck in a rut in a luke-warm living room.

Oh and never forget how important your friends are. They are AMAZING, so go on, get in touch with someone you’ve not seen for a while.

Life isn’t about circumstances, its about choices.

Just in case I forget, my resolutions for 2009 are:

1) say what you think

Could be risky I know!  Think I’ll implement this one gradually and see how it goes.  Too often I sit and nod in agreement when I don’t actually agree with the person who’s speaking.  And generally, most reasonable people are quite happy to be disagreed with.

2) pay attention crossing the roads

I cross lots of roads on the way to work, and have noticed recently that I’m regularly taking risky decisions.  And I don’t want to be hit by a car.  So I will pay more attention, even if it means an extra minute or two per journey!

3) this isn’t a resolution because its a bit hazy at this point.  But I want to learn something new, like maybe Spanish, or modern Greek, or even First Aid.  I reckon my brain needs to learn something different, just need to figure out what.

Today was technically a working day in my office, but I took a day’s leave.  And I’m glad I did.

I had a nice lazy start to the day, then went to the climbing centre.  Did some top roping and then some lead roping.  I love top roping because I can do silly things (like jump to grab a hold) knowing that if I miss, nothing bad will happen.  I love lead roping because it scares me and I know I need to be scared every now and again.

Then I got a haircut.  There’s something nice about shiny coiffed hair, and something about the way they dry it which is irrepeatable,  so for one day only I get that “just stepped out of a salon” look.

Then I met my brother and his wife for dinner.  Its always fun to catch up with them, and they were on good form.

Then I went to the church ceilidh.  There were a lot of people there that I knew, and a lot of international students that I’d never met before.  And I was REALLY impressed with the international students for their willingness to give it a go and learn new dances.

And then there was a strange game which gave me the opportunity to do a handstand.  And starting the year upside down is probably exactly right somehow.

Bring on 2009!

Went on a trip recently.  Visited my friend in Oxford.  It was lovely to catch up with her, and I enjoyed meeting her flatmate, her parents, one of her colleagues, some of her friends from church.  It was really good to see that she’s settling in well and is surrounded by good people.  And it was a relaxing chilled out time.

One of the highlights was going to a restarant called the “Big Bang” which specialises in sausages.  The night we went there was also a jazz singer.  Nice.

I flew back to Glasgow, arriving late on Sunday night, feeling a bit sad that after all that people-y stuff I was landing alone and had no one to pick me up at the airport.  But then I met a friend on the plane!  And she lives just near me, so we got a taxi back together.  Its these little things that are really worth noticing.

I found this picture on my PC at work and it reminded me that adventure is a good thing.

This post is to remind myself always be open to adventure and never to make excuses about why I need to opt for a safe life.

Possible excuses could be ill-health, lack of money, responsibilities, lack of time, old age.  These things just mean that you have to be a bit more creative in the type of adventure you go for.  Adventures don’t have to be on an epic scale either.

Things I consider adventure:

- going to a party where you only know one person

- dressing as a skeleton and performing a trapeze routine in a public place.  (Yes this really happened! And yes I agree that this option isn’t open to everyone! But that’s one of the beautiful things about adventures – one adventure leads to another and once you’re in the swing of it, they just keep coming!  And you get a reputation for enjoying these things and then as a result get invited to more of them)

- persuading colleagues to do a team-building trapeze event (and they loved it, even the people who only JUST managed to even get ON a trapeze!)

- driving to places you’ve never been to before

- organising a digital camera scavenger hunt (loads of fun, must do that again!)

- buying foodstuff that you’ve never heard of, and attempting to cook them

- inviting people you hardly know round to tea

- trying a new hobby that you might be no good at

- introducing friends to fun hobbies

Anything that involves inviting other people always involves an element of risk – what if they don’t like it?  However my experience is that most people are really happy to have had a chance to try something new, even if they have no intention of ever trying it again.  I think the need for adventure is part of being human, and if we opt for a safe and comfortable rut, we’re missing out and not living life as fully as we
could be.

So go for it! Find a friend and drive north for an hour and see where you end up.  Or go on holiday with a bunch of strangers.  Or offer to help with a charity fund-raising event.  Or try abseiling.  Or move house or get a new job or sign up for a 10-week course in something.

Well it all started on a work night out.  Not a particularly interesting work night out, but quite a nice social gathering.  They were cross-questioning me about trapeze.  I was saying it was the best hobby ever and they should try it.  There were lots of jokes about sequins and leotards.  Hmph.

Anyway the following week I did some investigations and called their bluff.  If we could get ten to fifteen people to sign up, we could have a “corporate trapeze” team-building event.  And ten people signed up right away!  It didn’t include all the blustering noisy people who’d been in the pub that night, but a good cross-section of fun people who were up for trying something new.

And they did me proud.  They paid their deposits, they turned up on time, the ALL managed to get on a trapeze.  Amazingly, they even did some “doubles” work on the high trapeze.  Who’d have thought it?

I have a new-found respect for my colleagues.  And its given us all something to talk about other than work, which is definitely a Good Thing.

Things to do more of: random social events that are slightly different than just going to the pub

Things to remember: your colleagues are probably more adventurous than you’d think

My friend took me rock-climbing the other day.  Outdoors.  I’d had visions of hiking for hours in the pouring rain and then climbing a gruelling and terrifying multi-pitch route.

But in fact – contrary to the weather forecast – it didn’t rain.  Neilston quarry turned out to be the perfect height for scaredy-cats and there was no need for any multi-pitch stuff.    I had two moments where I was picturing my own death but I think that was more due to an overactive imagination than any actual danger.

And then, just when it was getting to the point where I was thinking it would be nice if quarries came equipped with coffee-shops, the guys next to us asked if we wanted a cup of tea!  Tea?  Out in a quarry?  Oh yes.  They had a little stove.  It was good, it was fast.  And they gave us sweet black tea and a slice of madeira cake.

Nice.

I just spent a couple of days in a house that had a baby in it.

Generally I’m not sure about babies and am not sure what to say to them, seeing as they don’t say much back.

But this one has an amazing skill that goes a long way towards breaking the ice.  Whenever she sees someone she grins from ear to ear and beams with happiness.  It takes a little while to get over the feeling of being a fraud …  but when someone looks at you with such a look of pure delight, its impossible not to respond positively.

So today’s challenge to the world: next time you see someone, smile at them.  Or if cheesy grins don’t come naturally, then just do your “twinkly eye” thing.  You can’t fake a twinkle in the eye.  You know you can do it.  Just be delighted to see them.  And see how they respond.  No excuses.  Just try it.

Let me know how you get on!  (And no this isn’t an excuse to become a stalker.  If you spend all day smiling at one person, you WILL freak them out)

I think its fun to be frivolous, and that its also important to keep asking questions of a deep and philosophical nature.  And I don’t see any reason why the two things shouldn’t co-exist. In fact I think a good balance of frivolity and depth is a vital part of living a well-balanced adult life.

So I was amused to notice today that I was thinking really shallow thoughts and fairly deep thoughts simultaneously.  Two strands of thought going on at the same time (plus another strand which was observing the two strands and being amused at the irony, and presumably some other strands which were taking care of the business of walking down the street without crashing into anyone…)

Anyway I was wandering along the street thinking to myself about haircuts.  And at the same time, a different part of my brain was answering the question, “are people intrinsically good, or intrinsically bad?”  Not sure why I was interested in that question, but I enjoyed the process of answering it.  *

And then I booked a hair appointment.  So all is well with my head, inside and out.

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*PS If you’re interested in the conclusion, it was this:  “people are intrinsically good, but selfish”.  Which covers all bases really and may be a bit of a cop-out.  If I was genuinely philosophical then I’d also give you all my reasoning and demonstrate how I got to that conclusion, but I’m not going to.

PPS if you’re interested in the haircut, that will have to wait.  Its not for another week, its timed to coincide with the wedding, in which the “dress of wonder” will have its first public outing.

My place of work has recently moved from just out of town to right in the town centre. This has several benefits:

- it takes off about five minutes from my commute time

- it means I’m centrally located, handy for meeting up with other centrally located people AND with the lucky studenty types who are free to wander the town centre during the day

- it means we all have to move seats. I think every company should make its employees change seats every couple of years, just to shake things up a bit. The effect of moving seats is that you get a new set of people to say hello to in the morning, and to listen in on your conversations in that open-plan-office sort of a way. Change is good.

- easy to pop out to the shops at lunchtime

- easy to pop out to the shops after work

- did I mention, the shops are nearby?

Anyway I’ve been determined not to spend my money rashly. But I have also been determined to find a dress for a wedding. And the main stipulation for this dress is that it has to be PERFECT. And I was willing to pay a fair price for perfection. I had a red dress in mind, maybe one of those ones with a net underskirt that flares out. Maybe silk. Silk is always good. It had to be a good fit and I had to feel comfortable in it..but not comfortable in the way that an old person feels comfortable in slippers. It had to be glamorous, flirty and fun while also being absolutely appropriate for a family wedding.

So I searched high and low. High street and low street and in-between street. Tried the designer outlets and the high street shops. Tried the expensive section of the cheap shops and the cheap section of the expensive shops. Some dresses looked great but weren’t in my size. Others looked amazing on the hanger but really not good on me. Others were fun but more for summer barbecues than for a wedding. I began to think I’m just not the dress-wearing type.

Then it happened. I walked into the expensive section of the expensive shop and I saw it: the Dress of Wonder. Green silk. Just above the knee, with a kind of flirtatious swooshiness to the cut. And a perfect fit. Well nearly perfect, the only trouble was it slipped off at the shoulders more than I’d like. And the other imperfection was the price. I could have just bought it, but it seemed like a lot to pay, especially when it wasn’t quite right around the shoulders. So I walked away.

See? I do have some will power. And then came back the following day and had another look and tried it on again, and discussed with the sales assistant whether a tailor could fix the shoulders for me. She wasn’t sure, so I walked away again.

And then one lunchtime I idly walked into the shop, just to gaze longingly upon the dress of wonder one more time. I was wondering how I would react if it had gone.. but it hadn’t gone. Wonder of wonders, delight of delight, it was still there, in perfect condition and … wait for it … was selling at FIFTY PERCENT OFF!!! It had gone from being slightly extravagant to being a perfectly reasonable price. So I bought it straight away and took it to the tailor, who agreed it was nice and said he could do something about the shoulders.

And I got it back today. And I love it.